Feel Read online

  “Will you play that composition you wrote?” I ask, grinning. I could tell she wrote it about me the first time she played it in our field. She never said she did and I didn’t ask, but the way she looked at me when she played it was proof enough.

  Her smile fades. “I don’t know if I can play.”

  “Why?” Taking her hands and pulling her against me, my thumbs brush the dark, damp hair away from her eyes.

  “I haven’t played since that night.” Her words are barely loud enough to hear, but the explanation screams from her eyes.

  Picking Saige up in my arms, I spin her around and toss her on the bed, jumping on after her. I press my arms against either side of her head and hover over her, smiling down as she giggles.

  “What was that for?” she asks, the light shining brightly in her eyes again.

  “I wanted to hear you laugh. I fuckin’ love that sound, pretty girl.” Lowering my lips against her mouth, I claim her, branding her with my tongue, my lips, and my teeth as I graze them softly against her mouth, nipping and lavishing until I’m damn sure all her sadness is gone. I make her happy. I make her feel wanted and needed. I don’t have a clue why she chose me to be the one who has that power over her, but I will be grateful for that blessing as long as I’m breathing. “You love your violin, and I love watching you while you play. That night was a mistake. The biggest one I’ve ever made. I’ve spent enough time in hell without you. Please don’t send me there again knowing I took away your passion.”

  Those caramel eyes bore into mine. She pulls me down, and I brace myself against the mattress so I’m lying on top of her but not crushing her with my weight.

  “You’re my passion, Jensen. Don’t you see that? You’re my love, the first one, the last one. There was never one in between and there never will be.”

  Pressing my knees into the mattress, my hands find her wrists and my fingers slide in between hers as I hold her arms above her, gently pinning her against the bed. I wanted to go slow, prove to her that I still love her, but she knows I do, just as much as her words proved she still loves me. From eight years old, my entire life has built to this moment. She’s mine, and I’m going to make damn sure she knows I’m hers. “Dry your hair, get dressed, and come with me.”

  “What? Where?” Looking down, she shrugs, “All my clothes are washing. That’s why I’m wearing your underwear.” The corner of her lip tilts, “I didn’t think you would mind me borrowing them.”

  “Mind?” I let out a lust-filled laugh, “Pretty girl, you have no idea all the dirty little thoughts that overtook my brain, and other parts of me, when I saw you come out of the bathroom in those. They are officially my favorite pair of boxers now.” Grinning wickedly at her, I cock my brow, “I may not even wash them before putting them on.”

  “Gross,” she giggles, wrinkling her nose.

  “Having you on me is about as far from gross as possible.” I tell her, throwing a pair of my pajama bottoms and a t-shirt at her.

  Saige dries her hair as I grab the blankets and sheets off the bed and playfully smack her bottom when she’s done, “Now, let’s go.”

  Taking her hand, we slide out of the balcony door of our room and run to the van. Saige is still laughing when I crank the engine, and the sound eases the stress of the visitation and what happened at her parent’s house. It only takes a few minutes before she looks over at me, her eyes shining brightly when she presses her chin against her shoulder and smiles. She knows exactly where I’m taking her.

  It’s dark when I park the van, but the rain has stopped. Moonlight shines bright enough to not need a flashlight as I grab a tarp and the blankets before taking Saige’s hand. She reaches to help, but I shake my head, grinning at what I have planned. The air is still, making the night refreshingly cool as the pounding in my heart makes the five minute walk through the woods to our field seem like hours.

  When we step out of the trees into the clearing, Saige’s fingers close tighter around mine and she slips closer to me. “This is my favorite place in the entire world.”

  The soft moonlight spills across her face and I lose my breath. “You’re my favorite place, just wherever you are at the moment.” I don’t give a damn at how whipped I sound right now. I’ve accepted she owns me – hell, I’m flippin’ ecstatic about that fact.

  Her smile widens as I spread the tarp at our spot on the slight slop in the large space between the two oak trees.

  Saige spreads the sheets and blankets down, and I wrap my arm around her waist. She presses her back against my chest as I brush the hair from her neck, kissing her soft skin. Taking her wrist, I gently tug her down with me as we look at the stars above us for a few minutes. Her chest softly rises and falls next to me. Memories of all the nights we laid next to each other like this, her hand wrapped safely inside my fingers, her shoulder pressed against mine, soothes the shit tearing me up inside. I can hear her soft breaths as I fall impossibly more in love with her. Rolling on top of her, I look down into her eyes staring back up at me with so much love it feels like it’s going to make my heart combust inside my chest. No woman has ever made me feel anything. Only Saige. She makes me feel everything.

  “With God as my witness, I swear to love and take care of you, to honor and respect you. I swear to-”

  “What are you doing?” Saige asks, the corners of her lips tugging upwards.

  “Saying my vows. Even if your answer to what I’m going to ask you in a minute isn’t the one I want to hear, everything I just said and am getting ready to say still holds true for me.”

  “Your vows? What do you-”

  I press my finger to her lips. “Shut-up and let me finish this,” I wink. “I swear to be faithful, to make sweet, crazy, hot love to you, to hold you close when you’re sick or scared and hold your hand when your wild side decides to scare the shit out of me. I will stare up at the stars with you and do everything in my power to never make you cry…unless they’re good tears, and I swear to make sure you never, ever feel invisible again.”

  I slip my t-shirt up on her skin, sliding my mouth down her body, trailing kisses until I’m on my knees in front of her. Taking her hand, I pull her up so she’s sitting in front of me before I go down on one knee. “Saige Renee Colewood, will you marry me? Because I want to be your fucking Superman for the rest of my life.”

  “What?” she gasps, her smile widening as her eyes search mine.

  “Um. I thought I said it all pretty clearly, but if you need me to say more-” I tease, loving how beautiful she looks as my proposal sinks in that pretty head of hers.

  “You want to marry me?” she stammers.

  “I most definitely want to marry you. And I’m hoping you want to marry me. So, giving me your answer would do a lot to ease my waning confidence here, pretty girl.”

  Saige nods, softly at first, then repeatedly. “Yes. Yes.” Joy dances in her eyes, brightening her entire face as she presses her lips against mine, tangling my hair in her fingers, “YES.”

  I kiss her back, sliding my hand underneath my t-shirt that looks like it’s going to be my favorite as well, now that I’ve seen how beautiful she looks in it. Her skin is warm, despite the chill in the night air. “We’ll put this on paper ASAP, but, for me, it’s already official. I’m yours, for better or worse, Saige, and I’ll do my damnedest to make sure there are a helluva lot more good times than bad for you.”

  Pulling back, I hold her arms in my hands, smoothing my thumbs against her soft skin. “I have another question for you. Will you make love with me?” I ask Saige, my dick swelling painfully in my jeans as it eagerly awaits her answer.

  My t-shirt is slipped slowly over her head and my pajama bottoms fall to her feet when she stands. Saige steps out of the pile of pajamas that I think I might frame on my bedroom wall, right along with my underwear that she slides down her long legs. The years of tortured waiting was worth every second of this moment, seeing how beautiful she looks standing there. For me.

 
My zipper is at its bursting point when she kneels in front of me, her mouth finding mine as her fingers unbutton my jeans and slide the metal zipper down. Soft, warm fingers slip inside the cotton fabric of my boxers and wrap around my very hardened length, making it pulse happily in her hand. As much as I’m loving her lead here, I’m beyond the need to take charge and please her right now.

  Ripping my shirt over my head, I rise to my feet and strip the denim from my body, standing before Saige as she’s still on her knees in front of me. A million fantasies of what we could do in this position fills my head, but that can come later. The first time I make love to Saige, she’s going to know everything I do is for no one but her. Stripping the last piece of material between us, I toss my underwear to the side, drinking in the sight of her beautiful body gleaming in the light of the moon. Her tan skin has a soft glow and I can’t keep from running my hands across every inch of it as I pull her to me, feeling how fuckin’ amazing her soft curves feel against my flesh.

  “You’re taking my breath away here, pretty girl,” I mumble against her neck as I taste her skin, swirling my tongue across her collarbone.

  Her body trembles in response, pressing even closer into mine. “I want to feel you. Now. Please - let me feel you, Jensen.”

  Picking her up in my arms, I cradle her against my chest as I press my mouth against her ear, “I’ll do anything for you.” My eyes lock on hers as I lay her down underneath me. I want to watch her as I make love to her, see the look in her eyes as I make her feel every good thing I can possibly make her feel. “Keep your eyes open, baby. Okay?”

  Her bottom lip quivers slightly as she nods and I pull the blanket over us. I taste her mouth, her neck, skimming my tongue down the hollow of her neck to her breasts. My dick twitches violently when a soft moan escapes Saige’s parted lips. Her back arches as I suckle her nipple, lightly tugging it between my teeth before swirling my tongue around the sensitive tip. Working my fingers lower, I trace them over her flat, smooth stomach, my teeth giving a tug on her nipple as my fingers dip into her soft curls, finding her slick, hot entrance. Her knees fall a little, opening up for me, and I have to take a deep breath to calm the beast ready to plunge inside her when I feel how wet and ready she is for me. Brushing a kiss on the soft skin below her navel, she lets out another moan, her knees falling apart a little more.

  My left hand fumbles for my jeans, looking for my wallet, but Saige places her hand on my wrist, giving a sweet, shy smile. “There’s no need for that, at least not on my end.”

  “I’m clean,” is all I say, not wanting to mention my numerous times before her. They have no place here, not now. With Saige, none of them exist anymore. Besides, I’ve always used protection. Being with Saige without anything separating us feels right. Dipping my fingers inside her searing moist folds, I make sure she’s ready for me before I press myself against what we both need so desperately right now. Slowly inching inside, I swell harder seeing her full lips part, sucking in air as those eyes soften, silently exalting me – us - as they never break our connection. She tightens around my length, and I feel everything inside of me being lost to this woman. I’m proud to be found by her. I have no shame with how she owns me. I own her every bit as much.

  I’m almost all the way inside when her eyes flutter closed, her lips round and her back arches. Immediately stopping, I press my hands against the blanket, “Am I hurting you? Please open your eyes, pretty girl.”

  Her eyes flutter open again and she smiles at me as she shakes her head, “How can you barely be inside of me and are already making me feel like this?”

  “Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m more than barely inside of you,” I return her smile, winking at her.

  She laughs. I feel it against my dick, and it pulses inside of her in response. “That’s not what I meant. I just meant we just started-”

  “I know what you meant,” I whisper against her flesh, tasting her tangy, salty flavor before pulling out and thrusting inside again, letting her feel every full, hard inch of me, just for good measure. Damn, she tastes as good as she feels.

  Her pleasure filled gasp fills the night air before she softly laughs, knowing exactly what I’m doing. “Do that again,” she asks, pushing her heated, wet opening against me.

  I thrust inside of her, harder this time, and I have to hold myself back when a gratified moan bursts through her lips. All playful banter stops when the desire in her eyes ignites higher, sending its flames blazing through my pores, and I lower my mouth to hers, conquering her lips, my tongue plundering and taming hers. She gives herself freely to me as my thrusts deepen, pushing harder inside of her until she is writhing underneath me. Her fingers dig into my back as I drive in and out, embedding myself inside with everything I feel for her.

  Her skin moistens against my touch as she gives as much as she takes, swiveling her hips, hungrily, greedily savoring my fevered thrusts. Saige’s hot breath sears my skin, and I take her as fierce and fast as her body craves, paying attention to her responses so I don’t get too rough. I’m addicted to the feel of her. Nothing has ever come close to how drunk I am from her right now. My breathing becomes ragged as she holds me against her soft, slick flesh. She is so damn tight clenching around me. Her silk heat lavishes every swollen inch of me with each of my thrusts.

  Saige’s fingers tangle in my hair and her pants blow against my chin and neck as she tightens impossibly more, making me want so fuckin’ badly to explode inside of her, but I hold back, making sure I give her the best damn release I can give her first. The feel of her taut nipples pressing into my chest sends a low growl rumbling through my throat and I dip my head, taking one into my mouth, teasing, twirling, nipping and tugging as the moist heat of my mouth takes turns savoring her breasts.

  “Please, please,” she begs, her fingers tangling roughly in my hair, pushing her breast further into my mouth. I give her everything she wants, my body colliding into hers until her shallow pants quicken and her body begins to tremor. Twisting my waist, I plunge deeper inside her, wrapping my arm underneath her back so I can hold her close to me when she comes undone. I deepen the thrust even harder, driving recklessly into Saige until her nails rake against my back. Careful not to hurt her, I plunge all the way inside, thrusting hard and fast. Holding her against me with my right arm, I dig my free hand against the blankets, supporting the weight of both of us as I up the momentum, slamming into her with each pleasured cry splitting the air.

  Her entire body shudders violently, and Saige’s arms wrap tightly around me as her moistened skin trembles against mine with her release. She gasps as I continue to thrust into her through each shudder as she comes completely undone in my arms, sending my body into my own vigorous release. My arm pulls her so close, I want to pull her inside of me as I explode, digging further into the blanket as I fill her with me. When the pulsing slows and Saige’s grasp weakens, I roll to my back, collapsing to the ground as she collapses on top of me. I can feel her heartbeat against my chest and I begin to swell inside of her again, but I force myself to tame the hard-on, wanting to enjoy the feel of her in my arms after what we just did.

  “You were beyond amazing, pretty girl,” I breathe into her hair, gently rubbing my hand against the slick, warm skin of her back.

  Her heart is still pounding, but her breathing is calming a little as she lies against my chest.

  Her fingers lazily trace my tattoos, and I grin cockily. “I have one more question for you.”

  “Yeah, what’s that?” she asks in a sleepy, completely satisfied voice that I hope to hell I hear again and again. She folds her arms, pressing her chin against them and looks up at me as she continues to lay on top of my chest.

  “Do you still think that my dick is highly overrated?”

  Her beautiful laughter echoes throughout the field and I swear she has every piece of me under her spell. “No. Not at all. Actually, what I think is that it’s the best damn thing I ever felt, except for this,” she smiles, tear
s shimmering in her eyes as she places her hand over my heart. “This. Nothing can beat this.” Her tears drip onto my chest and, damn, if I don’t have to push back my own.

  “No, pretty girl. I’m pretty sure this does,” I state truthfully, pressing my hand against her heart. “This fuckin’ owns me.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Saige

  Strong arms lift my body, and I smile when Jensen cradles me protectively against his chest. Today started off completely shitty but ended up being the best night of my life. I just hope Jensen feels the same, which makes me feel like crap. How can I even expect the best night of his life to be on the same night he stood in front of the coffins holding his dead family; the last night he will ever be with them since he chose no funeral?

  “Are you awake?” he whispers, quickly carrying me across the gravel drive, going towards the front door this time with the air being much colder than when we left.

  “Ummhmm,” I mumble against his chest, inhaling the masculine scent of him, “but I like being in your arms.”

  His laugh rumbles through his chest and I feel the vibrations against my cheek. Kicking the door closed behind him, he adjusts his t-shirt that has crept up my stomach as he balances my weight in his arms. Andy’s laughter ringing through the living room and the amusement from the whole gang clues me into why he wants to make sure I’m covered.

  “And where did the two of you sneak off to in the middle of the night?” Andy asks, raising his brow at us as Jensen carries me through the room to the hall.

  “Nowhere I’m telling you,” Jensen cracks light-heartedly.